Despite what they say about karma, when something "good" goes out into the world and comes back to us, it can be a welcome return! I've found this to be the case with mindfulness more than once in the relatively short amount of life that I've been exploring mindfulness practices and sharing them with my family, friends, students, and colleagues. Just last week, it happened again...
A couple of months ago in a graduate class I was taking, our weekend session opened with a guided meditation. Simple and quick, yet entirely "right" for me at that moment, the practice consisted of some relaxed deep breathing, centered around a three-lined mantra: "What I have is enough. What I do is enough. Who I am is enough." Given time to "sink in" and be felt, the words had a calming effect on me, prompting a feeling of peace with my present moment and circumstances. I liked the practice so much that I decided to share it with the teachers and other staff in the Mindfulness Exploration Group that I co-facilitate at the school where I work. Many in the group liked it, too, jotting it down to remember and use on future occasions. Enter last week. Despite having been teaching for 15 years, I can still feel unsettled, at times, about the stresses of my job, particularly observations. I've grown a lot in this area since earlier in my career, when the knowledge of an upcoming observation by an administrator or other could leave me feeling anxious for a whole week ahead of time and sleepless the night before. But last week, my upcoming observation was making me feel more uneasy than I had felt about an observation in quite a while. Perhaps it was the two days of stressful state tests my students endured earlier that week or the finishing touches on my culminating project for grad school that kept me busy every evening that were shaking me. Or maybe it was just that life had been very busy, overall, and this observation was "one more thing." Whatever it was, I walked into school that day feeling not my usual, fairly confident self. Shortly after my arrival, however, while making some copies in the workroom, I shared my feelings with a colleague while she also prepared for the day. "Just remember," she suggested, "What I have is enough. What I do is enough. Who I am is enough." I hadn't taken a mindful moment for myself yet that morning since arriving in my classroom--as has become a common practice for me--and, even though I appreciate that mantra and carry it within me, I hadn't thought to put it to use that morning. I went right to my classroom after my preparations and did so. A few moments of quiet, focused breathing and a centering mantra later, I was feeling much more grounded and ready for the day ahead. We had a discussion, in our Mindfulness Exploration Group, about that mantra the day I introduced it. Could saying it be interpreted as a pathway to accepting mediocrity? In some cases, perhaps, it could be interpreted as such. To me, however, the mantra doesn't have to be at odds with striving to do my best with something. Rather, for me, it helps me find balance between my efforts to influence something or do something in a particular way, and my simultaneous resolution to "go with the flow," and find peace in accepting things as they are. That's when I appreciate this mantra the most. We make plans in life, we have dreams, and many times we take action to try to achieve them, uncertain of the future and of whether or not they'll succeed. If things don't turn out as we might have pictured them, our failures can be humbling and profound, though not defeating. I think planning and dreaming and acting with the future in mind is part of our human nature. When we can fully accept our present, however, with whatever challenges and joys it may hold, we become a little stronger, a little more flexible, and a little wiser. "What I have is enough. What I do is enough. Who I am is enough." With acceptance of what is now--not that things are perfect and not that there aren't things that we wish could be different--we can find peace now. And with peace now, we can enjoy a renewable source of strength to fall back on in the pursuit of our dreams. Thanks to my colleague for reminding me of this mantra just when I needed it. Life can throw curve balls at any moment, and whether before a relatively "little" challenge of being observed or while facing a major twist or turn on the roadway to pursuing my dreams in life, this mantra will keep me company and lend support. Maybe you'll welcome it on your journey, too. What I have is enough, what I do is enough, who I am is enough, LAH
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