Staring at the computer screen, a feeling of uncertainty left me unsure of how to begin this post. I knew what I wanted the topic to be and had an idea brewing for how I would develop it, but a fitting title and intro evaded my mind.
So I put aside the world of active thought for a moment to take a few mindful breaths. My mind attempted to continue its wordsmithing and planning, but I shifted my attention to where I noticed my breath most strongly tonight: the tip of my nose. I noticed the intake of cool, spring, evening air and felt the contrasting warmth of my exhalations. Within a few moments, I was fully focused on my breath and anchored in the present, my mind having let go of its questioning. Then, the inspiration came, and what had been previously nameless and somewhat formless emerged, outlined and titled. Much can be said about the breath. A presenter at a recent class I attended noted how we could survive for a few days without water and even longer without food. Yet, take away our breath for just a few minutes, and we will perish. In addition to keeping us alive, our breath has a quiet, powerful potential to help in other ways as well. Indeed, our breath--in mindfulness practices and in life--can be a great ally that often goes unnoticed and sometimes is taken for granted. Because we always have it with us, our breath can be used at any moment to help root us in the present. I first read about the idea of an "anchor breath" in Daniel Rechtschaffen's The Way of Mindful Education: Cultivating Well-Being in Teachers and Students, my first official "mindfulness read." The analogy of our breath being an anchor that can keep us grounded even when the seas of life get stormy stuck with me, and I began to explore using my breath as a focus point whenever I felt a surge of stress or worry ride over me. My breath continues to be a great ally for me in this regard, in times of any powerful emotion. As I've gotten to know my breath better, however, it has begun to serve as an indicator as well as an anchor. As Baron Baptiste notes in Perfectly Imperfect: The Art and Soul of Yoga Practice, "As you become conscious of your breath, you begin to notice it reflects your thought patterns, energy, and emotional moods like a mirror." The breath, and taking notice of it, supports both our self-awareness and self-regulation, in simple, but powerful ways. Deep breaths can literally and figuratively clear the air. They can bring a sense of perspective that opens up new possibilities in any given situation. When our minds or emotions spin out of control, our breath can bring us back home to our bodies, where we can take comfort in the present and "just be," and from there aim to be our best selves. A few deep breaths can make a huge difference in helping us respond reflectively, rather than react reflexively to stressful situations. And when we can use our breath to support more compassion for ourselves and more empathy for others, then, I believe, we have begun to unlock the breath's full potential. Although I've only recently discovered what a powerful ally my breath can be, it's been serving me well all along since my very first cry as a newborn. I see how it's helped me in life, and I know I can turn to it whenever I need or want to for support. What might you discover if you befriend your breath? Or perhaps you've already long known and sensed its potential? Whatever the case, I invite you to close your eyes for a few moments. Take a few deep, conscious breaths. Where do you feel them in your body? What do you notice? Can you bring your attention fully to the present, even for just a few moments, to get to know your breath better? In what ways might your breath be your ally? Breathing in and breathing out, LAH
0 Comments
On a recent riverside walk with the family Sheltie, I found myself singing the lyrics to one of my favorite songs. Unless you, too, were a teenager in the '90s--or, also like me, are a fan of the ska band No Doubt--you've, perhaps, never heard of it. When "Don't Speak" became No Doubt's top hit from their Tragic Kingdom album, however, it was Track 12 that "spoke" most to me.
Backed by their signature sound of trumpet, saxophones, and an unmistakably accented bass, the lyrics of "World Go 'Round" open like this: "In the quickness of our haste/ It seems we forget how to live/ The old blueprint/ No longer manifests itself/ As the correct way to exist/ So wipe the grime off the view hole/ And please take a closer look..." The song goes on as a kind-of prompt to listeners to open their eyes, to stop and think about their lives, their choices, and the effect of those choices on others. I've always loved the song, which speaks to my more philosophical side--a side that's been integral to me for as long as I can remember. After beginning my exploration of mindfulness in 2015, the song took on new meaning as I listened to Gwen Stefani's unmistakable voice. I began to hear in this "call" to listeners a call to be more mindful, to open their awareness to their own lives and world: "Our individual roles we think/ Not so important to the plot/ The big picture unseen/ Leaving life in between/ Destroyed and overwrought..." I find meaning in this song, just as I find meaning and potential in mindfulness practices themselves. Even as a teenager, I had begun to experience life's ever-pressured, hurried pace. Such a pace is easy to get caught up into, and sometimes our lives can be moving at such a speed that we go through our days with hardly a moment to pause, let alone time to reflect on what brought us meaning, what made us tick, what opened our eyes--on any given day--to the magnificence of the world around and within us. The search for meaning has been an ongoing quest for humans, though "meaning" takes on different definitions in differing times and places. Recognizing and honoring our quest for meaning, however, may be taking on new relevance, suggests Daniel H. Pink, who sees meaning as an "essential aptitude" of our current age and believes circumstances are creating the "perfect storm" in which the quest for meaning is taking on greater significance. In addition to relative abundance in our lives, "Other forces are also at work...the mammoth baby boom generation is reaching a demographic milestone. The typical boomer now has more of his life behind him than ahead of him, prompting the searching of souls and the reevaluation of priorities. The specter of terrorism hovers, offering reminders of life's fleetingness and raising questions of its purpose. Meantime, technology continues its unrelenting march, deluging us with data and choking us with choices." The will to seek our own meaning, he suggests, is key to helping us thrive. For being known as a "business thinker," Pink is also philosophically oriented, which is, perhaps, why I've come to respect his work so much. No Doubt's song ends with the refrain "We've got to find another way/ To make the world go 'round." Mindfulness is only part of the answer, but I believe the more mindful we become, the better our chances at finding this other "way." I've found in my own experience that when I prioritize some moments of stillness and some space for reflective contemplation--even if only for five minutes--I'm better able to put things into perspective, even on the most stressful or harried of days. When things are in perspective, I remember what matters most to me, what brings my life meaning and rejuvenates me every day...things like family and friends, a beautiful sunset, a silent snowfall on a winter's evening, or the sound of waves gently marking the ocean's cycles on the sand. These are what make my life rich, and taking a moment to reflect on them brings a sense of gratitude. "Bad" news in the world and in our lives can, indeed, be overwhelming. We can't change it all in the ways that we might like to, but we can change ourselves. By taking a moment to remember and seek solace in what gives our life meaning, I'm guessing we're bound to stumble upon some sense of the interconnectedness that unites all life, which can be an incredible source of peace and strength, leading us all to "better" our days in whatever little ways we can. Perhaps mindfulness can help us "find another way to make the world go 'round." What do you think? With meaning, LAH Sitting down to write this entry, I knew what I wanted to say, though I still lacked a title. So I minimized the website to play a round of solitaire... Sometimes when we need to think creatively, it can be best not to "think" at all. If we can only step back from our thoughts for a moment, creative possibilities previously unthought-of will often arise, with great thanks to our subconscious mind.
Moments of play, similarly to moments of silence, I've found, can be a great support for fostering our creativity. However, play's potential reaches further than that, and I'd like to explore a link between mindfulness and play that I feel is worth investigating further. As I wrote in "Humble Beginning: A Moment of Fun," a significant step in my journey with mindfulness was a moment of play I experienced at a faculty meeting. At that meeting, the idea of playfulness was presented as "the motivation to freely and joyfully engage with, connect with, and explore the surrounding world." For me, in some ways, playfulness IS mindfulness. When I think of mindfulness, meditation and stillness do come to mind first, but then I also acknowledge a wider definition, which recognizes any moment in which our senses are fully awakened--and we are fully present--as moments of mindfulness. One such moment shared recently in my classroom comes to mind. As my students headed over to morning meeting last Friday, they came prepared with the lines of a Shel Silverstein poem in hand. Humor--of a wonderfully "just right" fit for fourth graders--is a hallmark of Silverstein's poetry, and "Sick" is no exception. Without giving away the ending for anyone who hasn't read the poem, let's just say that "little Peggy Ann McKay" is ailing with long list of illnesses that are miraculously cured by the poem's closing lines. My students came to the circle that morning ready to read--and act out--their lines of the poem as they saw fit. What a blast we had! Shared laughter, smiles, and joyfulness strengthened our sense of community, getting us all connected that morning, and brought a new, focused energy to the classroom, which provided a smooth lead-in to the rest of the day. A lofty educational goal for any school district is to strengthen a student-centered approach to teaching and learning, in which children's social and emotional development is valued just as much as their intellectual and academic development. Children, like adults, need to laugh and need to feel connected, and play can help in both of those areas. For me, mindfulness has been a tool to help build my awareness of how to merge "joy" with students' learning. Joyfulness, it seems, is closely linked with playfulness, and when students are actively engaged in solving a problem or exploring a concept, the energy in the room seems to take on a similar feel as that of "play." "Play," after all, is a primary learning tool for young children, arising naturally and teaching much. When I allow myself to sit in stillness for a few moments to consider a lesson from my students' perspective and imagine what might make even a "boring" topic fun--perhaps by building in a game, or a chance to create something, or a chance to move around the room as they develop their understanding--then something creative usually arises. Most often these ideas aren't difficult to implement and are effective...little tweaks that can make a huge difference. In Pink's A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, play is one of the six "senses" that he proposes will help individuals thrive in the 21st century. He writes, "Humor embodies many of the right hemisphere's most powerful attributes--the ability to place situations in context, to glimpse the big picture, and to combine differing perspectives into new alignments...And just plain laughter can lead to joyfulness, which in turn can lead to greater creativity, productivity, and collaboration." I'm realizing the potential for playfulness to enrich a student-centered learning environment. While mindfulness can help me infuse my lessons with a healthy dose of fun, I can also use those moments of fun to help my students reflect on what being "fully present" feels like to them, a tool which could potentially help for a lifetime. What's your take on mindfulness and play? Can mindless fun be mindfully rich? Can mindfulness help us support a sense of play? Take a moment to reach out and share your thoughts...they'd be joyfully welcomed! ;) Playfully, LAH In a recent presentation at The Graduate Institute, "happiness guru" Lionel Ketchian explained to the faculty and students present that happiness is a choice. While we cannot control our experiences and circumstances, we can control our responses to them, and regardless of how difficult they may be, we can choose positivity as a lens of interpretation. This, he argued, is key to happiness. However, "You only have a choice if you're aware you have a choice."
I believe empathy can be similarly nurtured. We can choose to be empathic in our interactions with others and ourselves, but we can only choose to do so if we are aware that we have that choice. This is where mindfulness can help. Being mindful increases self-awareness, at the deepest, most profound levels of our being. As we build our self-awareness, we simultaneously deepen our understanding of self: What makes us tick? What brings us joy and inspires us? What sets us off? What frustrates us? Practicing mindfulness can open our eyes to a new level of knowing ourselves, and knowing ourselves can, in turn, help us better understand others. Business thinker Daniel H. Pink sees empathy as a critical characteristic of successful individuals across a variety of careers and life callings. In A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, Pink notes that changes prompted by "abundance, Asia, and automation" have brought us into what he calls the "Conceptual Age," in which "The main characters are now the creator and the empathizer." In this age, empathy--which Pink defines as "the ability to imagine yourself in someone else's position and to intuit what that person is feeling...the ability to stand in others' shoes, to see with their eyes, and to feel with their hearts,"--is increasingly important. Not only is it key to helping professionals such as lawyers, doctors, and marketers remain competitive in a world that has become increasingly automated, empathy is, moreover, "an ethic for living...a universal language that connects us beyond country or culture. Empathy makes us human. Empathy brings joy." As a parent and an educator, I see the value in practicing mindfulness to develop empathy not only in my daughter and my students, but also, first and foremost, in myself. For in every interaction, in the words of Carl Jung, "You are what you do, not what you say you'll do." The old adage "actions speak louder than words" often rings true, and caught up in a moment of frustration or anger, I turn to mindfulness as a tool to help me recognize and process my emotions, empowering me to choose how I respond to a situation, rather than mindlessly reacting to it. (I'm sure anyone who has parented a teenager can see the value in this! In fact, I'm guessing that anyone who works to serve others in any way, shape, or form can also relate!) Even in the most challenging of situations, the simple recommendation of Kristin Souers and Pete Hall in Fostering Resilient Learners: Strategies for Creating a Trauma-Sensitive Classroom, can have a profound effect: "When in doubt, shut your mouth and take a deep breath." Even in day-to-day interactions, mindful awareness can increase empathy for others, as we may be more apt to recognize and "tune in" to someone else's needs and experiences. In a recent meeting of the Mindfulness Exploration Group that the psychologist at my school and I facilitate, we looked at the connection between empathy and mindfulness, and teachers shared how their empathy for students can serve as a powerful role model for how their students interact with one another. Furthermore, one teacher noted how she consciously makes the effort to stop and hold the door when she sees someone coming behind her, though many times that is no longer the "norm" of behavior we see day-to-day. Overall, I consider myself a fairly empathetic person, yet her sharing of this simple practice re-awakened an awareness in myself, and now I, too, make a conscious effort, whenever I notice someone coming behind me, to wait and hold the door open. Since becoming more mindful of this practice, I've also become more aware of the smiles and "thank you's" that such a simple act fosters. Indeed, bringing mindful awareness to our everyday interactions can open figurative doors to new ways of showing empathy for others. In his groundbreaking work Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman writes, "Empathy...leads to caring, altruism, and compassion. Seeing things from another's perspective breaks down biased stereotypes, and so breeds tolerance and acceptance of differences. These capacities are ever more called on in our increasingly pluralistic society, allowing people to live together in mutual respect and creating the possibility of productive public discourse." Now, perhaps more than ever, we have a need for these capacities and for a re-awakening of our awareness of how we treat and interact with others. In the 2005 edition of his book, Goleman also calls for "a new vision of what schools can do to educate the whole student, bringing together mind and heart in the classroom." I believe mindfulness can be a tool for helping this emotionally intelligent vision become a reality, not only in the classroom, but in the world at large. The choice to be empathic or not is ours, and mindfulness can nurture our awareness of that choice and open new doors with regard to how we handle our interactions with others and how we treat ourselves. What are your thoughts? What has been your experience with the crossover of mindfulness and empathy in your day-to-day lives? Do you have ideas for how to foster empathy in our students, our children, and in ourselves? Do you agree with the potential of mindfulness as a tool in this area? I pose these questions as food for thought and welcome any and all insights you wish to share! Thanks for reading, LAH On an excursion last night with family and friends, the conversation turned to mindfulness for a few moments of our drive. My family-friend, who works at Barnes and Noble, commented on the proliferation of mindfulness-related materials at the store. Mindfulness, it seems, is reaching into so many "corners" of our lives. Our short conversation got me thinking, "What is mindfulness anyway?" The term is applied to so many facets of life right now, are some applications more valid than others?
Mulling this over, I've begun compartmentalizing somewhat to make sense of it. In my understanding, mindfulness can take the form of mindfulness meditation, which can be moving or sedentary meditations, and can also take shape with anything done in a mindful way . In a holistic world like the one we live in, however, these boundaries are fluid and aren't always clear or even evident at all. In his work Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life, Jon Kabat-Zinn writes, "Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally. This kind of attention nurtures greater awareness, clarity, and acceptance of present-moment reality." Furthermore, Kabat-Zinn explains in his Coming to Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness, "There is nothing weird or out of the ordinary about meditating or meditation. It is just about paying attention in your life as if it really mattered. And it might help to keep in mind that, while it is really nothing out of the ordinary, nothing particularly special, mindfulness is at the same time extraordinarily special and utterly transformative in ways that are impossible to imagine, although that won't stop us from trying." In my opinion, his definitions are clear, yet they are broad enough to encompass a wide range of possibility. While mindfulness does mean "meditation" in the sense that many of us think of meditation, as focusing one's attention on the breath or a sound, for example, it also means more than that. That same type of focused attention can be practiced with regard to anything in the present moment. When any activity is done with an open, nonjudgmental awareness, we may find ourselves experiencing personal insights or simply enjoying a feeling of peace, as we take refuge from the deluge of information bombarding us daily to just "be" in and with the present moment. Considered in this light, mindfulness is a wide-open term, with a nearly endless offering of avenues to be explored...hence the proliferation of mindfulness materials at book stores and elsewhere. I guess there can be varying degrees and types of mindfulness. My daily morning sun salutation and sitting meditation routine is, surely, a more "traditional" mindfulness practice. Yet, as many mindfulness resources suggest, mindfulness is kind-of a way of being that, with practice, can begin to permeate all of our actions and interactions. The destination of our excursion last night: a roller skating rink. I couldn't help but think, while zooming through the crowd on my rollerblades, that, "Yes, even this could be interpreted as mindfulness." Indeed, my attention-apart from the occasional philosophical meanderings of my mind-was openly attuned to the present moment as I maneuvered around children and adults, and their sometimes unpredictable movements. I kept a lookout for my skating companions and felt fully embodied, experimenting with how the slightest bend of my knees or ankles could influence my movement and marveling at the fluid movements of others. My focused, purposeful attention made the skating rink visit a new kind of experience for me-the first time in months that I'd skated at all and the first time ever that I'd skated with an intentionally mindful awareness. So what is mindfulness anyway? How have you come to define it in your experiences? Please consider sharing what mindfulness means to you and maybe even whether or not your definition has changed over time. I'd love to read about how you are interpreting and developing this concept in your own lives! Mindfully, LAH |
Archives
February 2019
Categories |